Think On It

Holidays, home for part II

December 26th, 2006

This is my pal Mike’s account of his Christmas Day. See more of Mike at his webpage: http://www.fellwalk.co.uk/

By the way, for those who might not know, Gordon Ramsay is a famous UK chef who uses the F word continuously. Therefore, insert that wherever Mike uses his name.

Twas Christmas day in the season of good cheer.
We arrived at mother in laws and got the three bird roast on in the
oven and thought “time for one,” got the gin out of the fridge and
thought “why is this gin like a cup of tea?” “I hear you all say “why
*is* this gin like a cup of tea?” “I’ll tell you, shall I?”
Because the fridge readout is saying +30C.
“Mother in law, why is the fridge saying +30C?”
“Its been like that for two days, I’ve taken a note of the
temperatures, I’ve got it written down here, this morning it was +18,
last night it was…….”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
“Is something wrong?”
“WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US, WHY DIDNT YOU DO SOMETHING”
“Didnt want to bother you with all the christmas stuff to get ready”
“BUT ALL THE GORDONRAMSAYING FOODS RUINED”
“Oh is it, I’ve noted all the temperature down here and I’ve got the
instruction book for you to look at”

“AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH”

sits back and calmly considers situation….”AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH”
empties freezer into back garden, puts least risky food and drink in freezer.

Well, we thought, sod it, and cooked most of the stuff, binned the
melton mowbray, contreau cream, bacon and the black truffle
sausages. Still alive.
Didn’t know a fridge could actually get hot, but it can. How does that work?
Got to dessert, remembered wine in freezer, all the corks have come
out of the frozen bottles, £30 half bottle of barsac lolly. Chablis
lolly, you get the idea. Thank god for champagne bottles.
Now completely pissed, gave 12 year old godson vodka and russian, so what?
I was definitely GordonRamsaying towards the end.
Fell out of bed, woke the whole house up, oh well.
Friends brought thier bloody ratdog, it escaped twice, good riddance I
thought. They wanted to call the gordonramsaying police, had to raid
all the neighbours, very nice bloke, got all the kids out to search
back gardens, found the bloody thing.
Why has the PC turned into a Brian Rix farce? The CD drawers keep
opening and closing for no reason ever since I installed iTunes, is
that Steve Jobs trying to sabotage PC land? Carol left the bloody
minute iPod at MILs. At least the ratdog didn’t swallow it.

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Food, Waste